Online Auctions Pillows

Maude gets rid of all the useless stuff that is cluttering up the house on Ebay.

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

"Did you leave feedback. . . ?"

"I don't know what it is, but it's big and I'm putting it on ebay!"

'Well what do you expect, bidding for a goldfish on the internet!'

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

'I put all my worldly possessions on E-BU.'

'Would we do better if we took the company shares off the stock market and put them on E-Bay?'

Witter

'You'll be happy to know I'm make my last TV shopping purchase. I'm buying a computer so I can log onto ebay.'

'Wow, look at them run! OK, see what we can sell online...'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

I e-bay t-shirt.

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'Will broker deals for food'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Enough EBAY already!'

'That's a decent offer but if I wanted to sell my soul, I would put it up for bids.'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"Going, going, gone! Sold to the man at the back being beaten with an umbrella!"

"Trying to auction me won't work!"

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

' I hear she was quite the collector...'