Internet Auctioneer Pillows

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

"I don't know what it is, but it's big and I'm putting it on ebay!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

I e-bay t-shirt.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"I got it from eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Titanic iceberg auction

The Battle of the Pictures.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'It sold for how much!'

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers