Online Auctioneer Pillows

"Trying to auction me won't work!"

'Wow, look at them run! OK, see what we can sell online...'

Selling Online.

Witter

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

"I'm leaving you, Reginald, your selling things on the internet has gone too far!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

I e-bay t-shirt.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Titanic iceberg auction

The Battle of the Pictures.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

'It sold for how much!'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers