Omelette Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Why am I irate? A: You turn my eggs into omelets each morning. B: Not once have you offered me even a nibble."

Tartine

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Canape?

"Trail mix?"

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Baking

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

With Compliments

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

Fig 1. Fig 2. Fig Newton.

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

Future Wrestler

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

"Look, you bake the cookies, I eat them the system works."

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."