"Howard is my firstborn, and my masterpiece."
Oldest Child Gifts
Searching for the right gift for your oldest child? Our collection offers thoughtful and fun items that recognize their unique position in the family. Whether it’s a humorous mug, a stylish t-shirt, or a cozy pillow, find something that celebrates their leadership and the special bond you share. Give a gift that makes them feel seen and appreciated, blending warmth with a touch of wit.
"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."
"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."
Seniors Snooker Tournament.
"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."
Face painting.
'How do you like my two-tone car?'
'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'
"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"
'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'
"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."
The day the cat realized it was dependent.
"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"
"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"
"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"
'Are we broke yet?'
PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES
Peter
'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'
'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'
"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"
Saguaro Cactus Regrets.
"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."
"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."
The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'
'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'
Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.
Patey's in a band! He's so cool!
"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."
"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."
"You used to be a lot more fun."
"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."
Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...
Maybe you should leave the evolving to the younger fish.
"This tire raced in the Indy 500."
Oldest Child Gifts Collection
Oldest Child Mugs
Discover more special mugs designed for your oldest child, combining humor and heartfelt messages that brighten their day.
Oldest Child Pillows
Find cozy pillows that celebrate your oldest child’s unique personality, blending comfort with a personal touch.
Oldest Child Prints
Decorate their space with prints that honor your oldest child—quaint, meaningful, and crafted to inspire.
Oldest Child T-Shirts
Explore our collection of t-shirts perfect for your oldest child—stylish, funny, and full of love, just like them.