Grown Children Gifts

"Well, the children are grown up, married, divorced, and remarried. I guess our job is done."

Wildlife

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

The No No No's

"That'll be five bucks."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

Children have their campsite ruined by an assortment of farm animals.

Graph Your Relatives!

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Are we broke yet?'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Happy holidays for kids.

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Peter

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."