Older Girlfriend Gifts

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"We've made great progress!"

Demure lady with gloves

"Stephen and I are today's special."

International Women's Day

"Talk nerdy to me."

LAY ZEE FUK

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

I could have danced all night!

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'