Girlfriends Gifts

"He finally popped the big question: Would I watch the super bowl with him?"

"Ideally, I want a guy whose eyes will well up but doesn't actually cry."

"Happy birthday and cheers to you for turning older than me."

The woman Frank's dating said he's like a computer. That's nice. Maybe she said that because of his logical mind. Or that he can handle multiple tasks at one time. Or because he can provide lots of information about any topic. No, she said none of those things are true about Frank. She thinks he's like a computer because when she stops paying attention to him, he goes right to sleep.

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'You've got a double chin in this one Marjorie.'

"Sure, he's statuesque, but he gets a big-fat-zero when it comes to making conversation."

"There's something about Susan's date I like."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"We've made great progress!"

International Women's Day

LAY ZEE FUK

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"What's a patent?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

Demure lady with gloves

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'