New Girlfriend Gifts

"I gave you my number so you could call me, not run a background check."

Where's Lisa? Wait till she sees who I'm with now, then she'll be sorry!

Frankie and Johnny were lovers...

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"We've made great progress!"

Demure lady with gloves

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Talk nerdy to me."

International Women's Day

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

LAY ZEE FUK

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

I could have danced all night!

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."