New Girlfriend Gifts

"I gave you my number so you could call me, not run a background check."

Where's Lisa? Wait till she sees who I'm with now, then she'll be sorry!

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"We've made great progress!"

"Talk nerdy to me."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

International Women's Day

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

LAY ZEE FUK

Demure lady with gloves

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

I could have danced all night!

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"