Old West Reimagined Gifts

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"Emotional Support Horses Welcome"

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

The modern sheriff.

"Trepanning for gold"

"..Not cloudy all day."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

"Happy slime trails to you, until we meet again!"

The corona ranger

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"What?"

Custer's Last Rollo

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Reality Wagon Train

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."