Old West Reimagined T-Shirts

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Emotional Support Horses Welcome"

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

"Trepanning for gold"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

The modern sheriff.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Custer's Last Rollo

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"What?"

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

Reality Wagon Train

The corona ranger

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."