Old West Reenactment T-Shirts

'I love that new horse smell.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Pirate

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Sundial Time

"Hipsters"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

Blue Dress

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"I'd say business was brisk."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

Sabrage!

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

"It's the battering classes"

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Wild West Text Showdown

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Trepanning for gold"

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

The modern sheriff.

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'