Nostalgic For The Old West T-Shirts

"Great. He took two spaces. Now where do I park?"

Nun Fight.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"Emotional Support Horses Welcome"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"Trepanning for gold"

"The record player is skipping again."

The modern sheriff.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

Reality Wagon Train

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"Clippety clop, … clippety clop. …. clippety clop. … clippety clop..."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

'I love that new horse smell.'

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”