Old West Reenactors T-Shirts

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

Knight school.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

"Trepanning for gold"

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

The modern sheriff.

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'