Old West Parody Fans Gifts

'I'm sorry, Sheriff... it was self-defence!'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

The modern sheriff.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"Trepanning for gold"

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

Reality Wagon Train

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

Early American Think Tank.

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'