Old West Parody Fans Gifts

'I'm sorry, Sheriff... it was self-defence!'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

The modern sheriff.

"..Not cloudy all day."

Cattlemans Saloon.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Trepanning for gold"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Reality Wagon Train

"Happy slime trails to you, until we meet again!"

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

Early American Think Tank.

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

The Mild, Mild West.