Old-school Charm Seeker Gifts

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Country Bumpkin.

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Opening the Barrel

'Let's call him lucky!'

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

'Your future looks charming.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Old-fashioned computer

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

Olive Tree

Christmas Eve at Mr. Wardle's

Person Reading For Pleasure

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

'Quaint Ye Olde Diner,' with a sign 'Mom's home cooked meal, $3.50, Colloquial Native Chatter $1.00 extra.'

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

Adult filmstrips

Clancy: Replay

'Help out a fellow non-conformist?'

A philosophical hunting trip

Down On My Luck

Happy Easter

"Thank heavens I saved my teddy bear... he brings me good luck."

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works