Old Rivalry Fans Pillows

"I always enjoy these school re-unions"

The Alpha Seltzer

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Tic-tac-toe

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"Just being proactive."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Fight on the top

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

'I hate snowboarders!'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Doggie Bowl Drill

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

David Anderson vs. Goliath

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."