Old Rivalry Fans Mugs

"I always enjoy these school re-unions"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

The Alpha Seltzer

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Tic-tac-toe

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

"Just being proactive."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Fight on the top

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I hate snowboarders!'

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

Doggie Bowl Drill

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

David Anderson vs. Goliath

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.