Oil Spill Disaster Artist Gifts

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I love your work!"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"Hello?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Wow! You've made a lovely job of those shelves in the hallway Gary!"

"What … have … you … done?"

The Hudson River School of Art.

My boat

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

A botched home improvement job.

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

"And this, my son, is how you do stencil art!"

'Is it still edible?'

Paint-By-Numbers in Nature

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

Man Painting Road.

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

Harry believed in having the right tool for the wrong job.

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

"Say when!"

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"