Disaster Artist Gifts

Acts of God

Cruise industry faces the Italian cruise ship disaster.

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Volcano and plane

Even though it was only his first day, Gideon had a bad feeling about his new job.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Hello?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

Suez Canal Curse

"Wow! You've made a lovely job of those shelves in the hallway Gary!"

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

My boat

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

A botched home improvement job.

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

'Is it still edible?'

Harry believed in having the right tool for the wrong job.