Oil Rigs Gifts

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Energy trap.

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

"We're raising royalties and we want vending machines every 200 feet."

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

Ballad of Offshore Drilling.

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

A 'failed' brake check!

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"

You are not alone! It is a TEAM EFFORT!

Oil Rig with a giant plug.

Demand For Oil

"Look at the bright side - employment for thousands trying to clean it up."

Oil Workers

Oil gushes out of a oil derrick on a computer screen.

'By now, some of you have probably noticed the little fracking operation in the staff break room.'

Libyan Oil

'You can't wear that on site!....

'I can't believe BP fired me for leaking information.'

"You mean they gave us alternative fracks?"

Safety: 'When Can I Work On My Own?'