Oil Pipeline Worker Gifts

"This is your third cousin Bernardo. He worked for an oil pipeline company for 30 years and kept it a secret."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

'Let's call him lucky!'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

Snake in the grass...

US Energy Needs.

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Keystone XL

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

There's no real oil emergency...

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

The Procrastinator

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Camel In The Tent

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

'Who is to blame?'

Energy trap.

"Woo-hoo!"

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Home Heating Oil

Mermaid sits on rock in the middle of an oil spill.

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

'Looks like big oil bought out Santa.'