Oil Refinery Worker Gifts

"The crude oil is on the left, and the refined oil is on the right."

'It's a shut-and-open case.'

Safety First at a Refinery

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Let's call him lucky!'

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

US Energy Needs.

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

Snake in the grass...

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

Car Breast-Feeding

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Keystone XL

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Camel In The Tent

"Woo-hoo!"

The Procrastinator

'Who is to blame?'

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

Energy trap.

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

There's no real oil emergency...

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.