Oil Refinery Worker Gifts

"The crude oil is on the left, and the refined oil is on the right."

'It's a shut-and-open case.'

Safety First at a Refinery

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Let's call him lucky!'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

Snake in the grass...

US Energy Needs.

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

Car Breast-Feeding

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Keystone XL

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Woo-hoo!"

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

There's no real oil emergency...

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

Camel In The Tent

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'Who is to blame?'

Energy trap.

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.