Oil Worker Gifts

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'It's a method I've developed to see how much oil is left in a well.'

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

'I'm sorry but your middle earth is full of our natural gas.'

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

'What do you mean you forgot to add toilet paper to this month's supply order?'

Oil worker dads

'I can't believe BP fired me for leaking information.'

Crude Oil

National oil reserve (formerly national wildlife preserve)

"You mean they gave us alternative fracks?"

Just wanted to tell you that even though you've been very, very good Santa won't be coming this year...60 bucks an hour in the oil patch is just too hard for him to pass up.

"My dad had a great job working on the pipeline...

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Jake strikes crude oil.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

"We're raising royalties and we want vending machines every 200 feet."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

'Let's call him lucky!'

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

Snake in the grass...

Libyan Crude Oil

US Energy Needs.

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

"Mr. Bush, this is Vytautas Landsbergis, in Vilnius. Guess what."

Car Breast-Feeding

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).