Oil Buff Pillows

Betting on $80 oil price.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Battery Lighthouse

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'We've found the problem...'

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

The Oil of Iran

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

World Battery Change

Internal Combustion.

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

Battery Chicken.

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

I don't know what it is, doc,,, I just keep going and going and going,,,

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'