Oil Buff Gifts

Betting on $80 oil price.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Battery Lighthouse

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'We've found the problem...'

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

The Oil of Iran

Because of Bob's excessive gas, the Alaskan natural gas pipeline make a detour...

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

World Battery Change

Internal Combustion.

"Yes, that'll be fine. I think my wife would like something to drink too."

Battery Chicken.

Ewe Tube A Ewe checking out the sheep world's version of You Tube.

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

I don't know what it is, doc,,, I just keep going and going and going,,,

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'