Offshore Work T-Shirts

'What do you mean you forgot to add toilet paper to this month's supply order?'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Relaxing in the Sun

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

Panama Papers Scandal

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

"These aren't barnacles. Someone stuck their gum down here."

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

Demand For Oil

"My job couldn't be automated so they shipped it overseas."

"We feel we've simply taken the classic 'open door' corporate culture model to its logical conclusion!"

"Read the list of my offshore accounts again."

Outdoor Working

"I wasn't getting any work done at home, so I thought I'd try somewhere hot, bright and uncomfortable."

'Isn't that nice, honey? Our money sent a postcard from the tax haven!'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"Are you sure our off shore holdings are safe?"

"I've hidden my nuts in an offshore forest."

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

Head Gardener

The Farmer