Offshore Work T-Shirts

'What do you mean you forgot to add toilet paper to this month's supply order?'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Relaxing in the Sun

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

Panama Papers Scandal

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Thanks Dad, but I need you to wire transfer that to the allowance account in the Caymans."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

"These aren't barnacles. Someone stuck their gum down here."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

Demand For Oil

"I wasn't getting any work done at home, so I thought I'd try somewhere hot, bright and uncomfortable."

"Are you sure our off shore holdings are safe?"

"We feel we've simply taken the classic 'open door' corporate culture model to its logical conclusion!"

Outdoor Working

You hid your money offshore to avoid taxes? Not just that … Years ago, after exhaustive research, I concluded that our entire socio-economic apparatus would collapse in an orgy of chaos and food-rioting, due to the unsustainable burden of our welfare culture. I started squirreling away my profits, as soon as that communist got elected president. Biden is not a communist. I was talking about Reagan.

"Read the list of my offshore accounts again."

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

'Isn't that nice, honey? Our money sent a postcard from the tax haven!'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"I've hidden my nuts in an offshore forest."

"My job couldn't be automated so they shipped it overseas."

Head Gardener