Offshore Consultant T-Shirts

"My job couldn't be automated so they shipped it overseas."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

"Tariffs"

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Nuclear generation of energy.

Environment policy.

City Windfarms.

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

Price may vary with weather.

"Neversource"

"Sorry, Edmund, but this is going to be a paper-free office."

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

'... and power outages on really hot days don't affect this baby one bit.'

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

How Many It Takes

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'