Office Tourist Gifts

'Good news... I got the venue changed to Florida.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Lumbar support animal

The World's Easiest Airport

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"Expense account or regular?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

InIn by-products.

Technological Dependence.

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

'Hanson - committee of four.'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."