Office Sitcom Lover Gifts

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'I give this one about three months...'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'