Office Provocateur Gifts

"Would I blow smoke?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Bo're'droom

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Everybody gets a raise."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'Cancel his redundancy cheque then phone for an ambulance'

'The boss says you can come in from the naughty step now.'

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'