Ethical Provocateur Gifts

'Welcome, sir?we've heard wonderful things about your accounting methods!'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

The Establishment: Independent Thought

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

"This is my son, Barry. He was headed for Congress, but instead had made his mark as a prominent internet troll."

'Let's tweet that there's civil unrest in Torquay and see if it gets reported on the news.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

"Relax, dear. I'm sure all lunatic fringe conspiracy theorists occasionally suffer from writer's block."

'I heard it was you who parked next to me and put a dent in my car door. Where do you want your vaporized ashes sent?'

Pro-life Executioner

"Tech support? Yeah, how do I add a 'Hate Me On Facebook' button to my website?"

Hell Mark - Cards for every occasion.

'If a painting can be forged so that even experts can't tell the difference, why isn't it worth the same as the original?'

End of Life Counselling

"Saying your god is the 'one true god' is as silly as me saying my penis is the 'one true penis.'."

'...and this develops their sense of aggression and ability to smash things.'

"In today's workshop we'll enrage the masses."

"So, the moral is, if you're going to cry wolf, do it from an anonymous Twitter account."

Hot date tonight, little buddy? I'll say. I met a super-smart, really amazing lady. We're going to hook up tonight. By that I mean we're going to get together and troll all the true believers at the Reptilian Illuminati are controlling everything Facebook group. Sigh ... Well, at least you're going to be in the company of another human being. By get together, I mean we're going to post comments in the same threads.

Writer's Block.

Now let's see how they like it!

The World Ignoring the Refugee Crisis

Kindergarten Cop

"MY brother is the real black sheep of the family. He made mom cry and Dad disowned him. He's a politician!"

'Consumer Society'

'50 million what a deal...50 million okay, 51 million...do I hear 55 million?...'

"You monster! I told you to stop posting political opinions on social media!"

'I don't care if you can't afford health insurance, you can't take that type of picture of yourself, put it on the Internet and ask for medical opinions.'

"Would I blow smoke?"

'...my next guest has been described as an extrovert..a hell raiser..a man of many suprises...'

"Remember that crazy, totally unhinged conspiracy-theory rumour I started just to see how many loonies were out there?. . . It's one viral!"

Political science.