Office Holiday Chat Gifts

"How was the ski trip?"

Bo're'droom

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

"I hear you may do a baby."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

"All those in favor of adjourning for treats, raise your hands?"

'When I say jump, Hayes, I don't want you to just ask 'How high?' ... I want you to show me!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

Bill endures yet another wooden presentation delivered to a room full of waxen figures.

'Remember,Riley-as soon as you clear your desk you may leave early.'