Office Conversations Gifts

Discussing golf swings, around the blood cooler.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Office meeting

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"I hear you may do a baby."

The Card Flinger

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.