Workplace Discussions Gifts

"I've been at home in a fired capacity."

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

'Tell me why you want to work here. Tell me why anyone would want to work here.'

"How long until the CEO notices the massive changes we've brought to the company?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Group Think Time

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'Don't have me beeped, I'll have you beeped.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

Great coaching is about being specific with feedback.

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you. I see your eyes darting back and forth between me and the clock."

'I am sure you will enjoy working here until your inevitable layoff.'

'You're the very first employee to register your complaint via my 'open door' policy.'