Professional Discussions Gifts

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

What is the difference between a migrant and a refugee?

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

"Are you sure that cutting them up will make him better?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

Economic Conference.

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Professional Couples

Media Reports: Vast majority of Americans agree - 'Country is going in wrong direction'...

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

Benchwarmer.

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

"Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying."

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

Parallel Universe Committee - Meeting Today!

"What happened to the hospital gown you were given?"

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Britain." Specifically about how a recent poll shows that nearly half of Britain misses Colonialism. They miss the day when they rounded up natives into camps, massacred them, tortured them into submission, ethnically cleansed whole regions, carved up their lands into arbitrary countries and made them all play cricket. Before I open the line to callers, I'm warning you, there will be a strict limit on the number of "Make Britain