Workplace Discussion Gifts

"I wish they'd pay us for something besides work."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Group Think Time

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

National Boss Monument.

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

InIn by-products.