Workplace Discussion Pillows

"I wish they'd pay us for something besides work."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

InIn by-products.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."