Office Gym Warrior Gifts

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

"Scoot over. I could use a workout too."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

In basket-case.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Overworked in the office

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Working 9 to 5.

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Why am I running?

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"