Office Goof-off Pillows

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

Office Competitions

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sleeping at the computer.

Out and In.

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

'Your memo Sir? It's just flown in... er I mean arrived now.'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

"...and here is an invoice for my time!"

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

"This is the software for my head."

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

'That looks like an unauthorized ride on the mail cart.'

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.