Office Goof-off Pillows

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

Office Competitions

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Sleeping at the computer.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

Out and In.

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

'Your memo Sir? It's just flown in... er I mean arrived now.'

"It's wearing a bit thin now, Peterson."

"...and here is an invoice for my time!"

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

"This is the software for my head."

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

'That looks like an unauthorized ride on the mail cart.'