Office Shenanigans Enthusiast Pillows

'I sent Higgins on a wild goose chase so we could get some work done.'

"Every time I got frustrated with my computer, I would slam on the keyboard. This time the keyboard fought back."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"What's your occupation?"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

Office Competitions

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Your wife's on the phone...."

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Out and In.

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Secretary

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"It's wearing a bit thin now, Peterson."

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"Gotta admit, the new guy's more fun than Ted was."

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

CEO practices his golf in the office.

"We want you to be passionage about your job even if it sucks the life out of you."

Why is it that you're always being eaten by a tiger when I call you in here, Popper?

'That looks like an unauthorized ride on the mail cart.'

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

Dirty Deeds

'Does this mean no more company car?'

'Sure, pin the blame on the donkey.'

'Everyone makes mistakes, that's why, sooner or later, I fire everyone.'

"Your job will be to furnish the office with fresh fish on a daily basis."