Office Shenanigans Pillows

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Office Competitions

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"Your wife's on the phone...."

Sleeping at the computer.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

Out and In.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

Like / Whatever

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

"This is the software for my head."

Law Office High Jinks

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.