Office Blunder Aficionado Pillows

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"