Office Comic Buff Pillows

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'A word in my office Jones.'

Hyenas as Pets

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'Take me to your leader Earthworm.'

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

'Oh no a speed camera.'

In and Out Trays

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Evil Villain.

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

"Slow down Mormph!....and for Zog's sake, eyes straight, hands at and 2 and for the love Zog...stay away from the sun!"

"Don't be irreplaceable, because if you can't be replaced...you can't be promoted."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs