Off-the-wall Humor Lover Gifts

Ink Eraser

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Hammer

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

Honest Voting Stickers

'Where Are They Now?'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"I'll have dessert first."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Only in America

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Eugene Ionesco