Off-the-wall Humor Lover Pillows

Ink Eraser

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"You are still here."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Hammer

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

Spanish bank needs propping up.

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Where Are They Now?'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Eugene Ionesco

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"I'll have dessert first."