Oceanic Reader Gifts

Surfboarder reading.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Oceanographer

Refueling at Sea: Library Ship

"We should've stayed on land, and grown feet and kicked ass."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

Library Space Travel Section,"There you are sir,one small step for man."

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

"What are you yelling at me for? You're the one at the tiller."

"I've got an app for that."

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

"In a case like this, a lot depends on which jurisdiction applies. Were you, by any chance, in international waters when you bit him?"

'How are we supposed to know when we've hit rock bottom.'

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

'I'm still a bit hungry: I don't think I've had more than four tons of krill this morning...'

'Say 'one' to hear the sound of the ocean, say 'two' to hear. . .'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

Walt Whitman

Violinist on a surfboard

'Fancy a 'banana split'?'

'I have tried saying hello but he just ignores me.'

Mermaid Environmentalist

'What a disappointment: They were only interested in me jumping or balancing a ball on my nose...'

The Evolution of fish

"I'll read you a story but on condition that you convert and download my vinyl record collection onto this blasted thing."

God uses the universe as a reading light.

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

"The body's been in the water for a long time."