Oceanic Author Gifts

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

A close shave on the Titanic...

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

Refueling at Sea: Library Ship

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

A writer goes sailing.

"The source of all those mystery tweets."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

Ship of fools.

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

Financing Nemo

"What's that clicking sound?"

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

Rainbow violin surfers

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

"I'm telling you...the more we hang-out on land, the sooner we can evolve into shark people."

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Anchored Fish.

'How was your date?'

'Are you sure those are dolphins?'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'

"Was it a good time? Yes. Was it a whale of a time? No."