Oceanic Author Gifts

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Chicken soup for the sole.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

A close shave on the Titanic...

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

"The source of all those mystery tweets."

Refueling at Sea: Library Ship

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

A writer goes sailing.

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

Rainbow violin surfers

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

"What's that clicking sound?"

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

Financing Nemo

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

Ship of fools.

"I'm telling you...the more we hang-out on land, the sooner we can evolve into shark people."

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

'Are you sure those are dolphins?'

'How was your date?'

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

Anchored Fish.

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'