Oceanic Conversationalist Gifts

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."