Oceanic Conversationalist T-Shirts

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."